Toaster
318 Pages
English

Toaster's Handbook - Jokes, Stories, and Quotations

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Published 08 December 2010
Reads 67
Language English
The Project Gutenberg EBook: Toaster's Handbook by Peggy Edmund and Harold W. Williams, compilers This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: Toaster's Handbook Jokes, Stories, and Quotations Author: Peggy Edmund and Harold W. Williams, compilers Release Date: May 26, 2004 [EBook #12444] Language: English Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK: TOASTER'S HANDBOOK *** Produced by Suzanne Shell, Sandra Brown and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. [Transcriber's note: The Table of Contents was added to this e-book by the transcriber.] TOASTER'S HANDBOOK JOKES, STORIES, AND QUOTATIONS Compiled by PEGGY EDMUND and HAROLD WORKMAN WILLIAMS Introductions by MARY KATHARINE REELY 1916 CONTENTS PREFACE ON THE POSSESSION OF A SENSE OF HUMOR TOASTERS, TOASTMASTERS AND TOASTS TOASTER'S HANDBOOK ABILITY ABOLITION ABSENT-MINDEDNESS ACCIDENTS ACTING ACTORS AND ACTRESSES ADAPTATION ADDRESSES ADVERTISING ADVICE AERONAUTICS AEROPLANES AFTER DINNER SPEECHES AGE AGENTS AGRICULTURE ALARM CLOCKS ALERTNESS ALIBI ALIMONY ALLOWANCES ALTERNATIVES ALTRUISM AMBITION AMERICAN GIRL AMERICANS AMUSEMENTS ANATOMY ANCESTRY ANGER ANNIVERSARIES ANTIDOTES APPEARANCES APPLAUSE ARBITRATION INTERNATIONAL ARITHMETIC ARMIES ARMY RATIONS ART ARTISTS ATHLETES ATTENTION AUTHORS AUTOMOBILES AUTOMOBILING AVIATION AVIATORS BABIES BACCALAUREATE SERMONS BACTERIA BADGES BAGGAGE BALDNESS BANKS AND BANKING BAPTISM BAPTISTS BARGAINS BASEBALL BATHS AND BATHING BAZARS BEARDS BEAUTY BEAUTY, PERSONAL BEDS BEER BEES BEETLES BEGGING BETTING BIBLE INTERPRETATION BIGAMY BILLS BIRTHDAYS BLUFFING BLUNDERS BOASTING BONANZAS BOOKKEEPING BOOKS AND READING BOOKSELLERS AND BOOKSELLING BOOKWORMS BOOMERANGS BORES BORROWERS BOSSES BOSTON BOXING BOYS BREAKFAST FOODS BREATH BREVITY BRIBERY BRIDES BRIDGE WHIST BROOKLYN BRYAN, WILLIAM JENNINGS BUILDINGS BURGLARS BUSINESS BUSINESS ENTERPRISE BUSINESS ETHICS BUSINESS WOMEN CAMPAIGNS CAMPING CANDIDATES CANNING AND PRESERVING CAPITALISTS CAREFULNESS CARPENTERS CARVING CASTE CATS CAUSE AND EFFECT CAUTION CHAMPAGNE CHARACTER CHARITY CHICAGO CHICKEN STEALING CHILD LABOR CHILDREN CHOICES CHOIRS CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS CHRISTIANS CHRISTMAS GIFTS CHRONOLOGY CHURCH ATTENDANCE CHURCH DISCIPLINE CIRCUS CIVILIZATION CLEANLINESS CLERGY CLIMATE CLOTHING CLUBS COAL DEALERS COEDUCATION COFFEE COINS COLLECTING OF ACCOUNTS COLLECTORS AND COLLECTING COLLEGE GRADUATES COLLEGE STUDENTS COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES COMMON SENSE COMMUTERS COMPARISONS COMPENSATION COMPETITION COMPLIMENTS COMPOSERS COMPROMISES CONFESSIONS CONGRESS CONGRESSMEN CONSCIENCE CONSEQUENCES CONSIDERATION CONSTANCY CONTRIBUTION BOX CONUNDRUMS CONVERSATION COOKERY COOKS CORNETS CORNS CORPULENCE COSMOPOLITANISM COST OF LIVING COUNTRY LIFE COURAGE COURTESY COURTS COURTSHIP COWARDS COWS CRITICISM CRUELTY CUCUMBERS CULTURE CURFEW CURIOSITY CYCLONES DACHSHUNDS DAMAGES DANCING DEAD BEATS DEBTS DEER DEGREES DEMOCRACY DEMOCRATIC PARTY DENTISTRY DENTISTS DESCRIPTION DESIGN, DECORATIVE DESTINATION DETAILS DETECTIVES DETERMINATION DIAGNOSIS DIET DILEMMAS DINING DIPLOMACY DISCIPLINE DISCOUNTS DISCRETION DISPOSITION DISTANCES DIVORCE DOGS DOMESTIC FINANCE DOMESTIC RELATIONS DRAMA DRAMATIC CRITICISM DRAMATISTS DRESSMAKERS DRINKING DROUGHTS DRUNKARDS DYSPEPSIA ECHOES ECONOMY EDITORS EDUCATION EFFICIENCY EGOTISM ELECTIONS ELECTRICITY EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYEES ENEMIES ENGLAND ENGLISH LANGUAGE ENGLISHMEN ENTHUSIASM EPITAPHS EPITHETS EQUALITY ERMINE ESCAPES ETHICS ETIQUET EUROPEAN WAR EVIDENCE EXAMINATIONS EXCUSES EXPOSURE EXTORTION EXTRAVAGANCE FAILURES FAITH FAITHFULNESS FAME FAMILIES FAREWELLS FASHION FATE FATHERS FAULTS FEES FEET FIGHTING FINANCE FINGER-BOWLS FIRE DEPARTMENTS FIRE ESCAPES FIRES FIRST AID IN ILLNESS AND INJURY FISH FISHERMEN FISHING FLATS FLATTERY FLIES FLIRTATION FLOWERS FOOD FOOTBALL FORDS FORECASTING FORESIGHT FORGETFULNESS FORTUNE HUNTERS FOUNTAIN PENS FOURTH OF JULY FREAKS FREE THOUGHT FRENCH LANGUAGE FRESHMEN FRIENDS FRIENDS, SOCIETY OF FRIENDSHIP FUN FUNERALS FURNITURE FUTURE LIFE GARDENING GAS STOVES GENEROSITY GENTLEMEN GERMANS GHOSTS GIFTS GLUTTONY GOLF GOOD FELLOWSHIP GOSSIP GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP GOVERNORS GRAFT GRATITUDE GREAT BRITAIN GRIEF GUARANTEES GUESTS HABIT HADES HAPPINESS HARNESSING HARVARD UNIVERSITY HASH HASTE HEALTH RESORTS HEARING HEAVEN HEIRLOOMS HELL HEREDITY HEROES HINTING HOME HOMELINESS HOMESTEADS HONESTY HONOR HOPE HORSES HOSPITALITY HOSTS HOTELS HUNGER HUNTING HURRY HUSBANDS HYBRIDIZATION HYPERBOLE HYPOCRISY IDEALS ILLUSIONS AND HALLUCINATIONS IMAGINATION IMITATION INFANTS INQUISITIVENESS INSANITY INSPIRATIONS INSTALMENT PLAN INSTRUCTIONS INSURANCE, LIFE INSURANCE BLANKS INSURGENTS INTERVIEWS INVITATIONS IRISH BULLS IRISHMEN IRREVERENCE JEWELS JEWS JOKES JUDGES JUDGMENT JURY JUVENILE DELINQUENCY KENTUCKY KINDNESS KINGS AND RULERS KISSES KNOWLEDGE KULTUR LABOR AND LABORING CLASSES LADIES LANDLORDS LANGUAGES LAUGHTER LAW LAWYERS LAZINESS LEAP YEAR LEGISLATORS LIARS LIBERTY LIBRARIANS LIFE LISPING LOST AND FOUND LOVE LOYALTY LUCK MAINE MAKING GOOD MALARIA MARKS(WO)MANSHIP MARRIAGE MARRIAGE FEES MATHEMATICS MATRIMONY MEASURING INSTRUMENTS MEDICAL INSPECTION OF SCHOOLS MEDICINE MEEKNESS MEMORIALS MEMORY MEN MESSAGES METAPHOR MICE MIDDLE CLASSES MILITANTS MILITARY DISCIPLINE MILLINERS MILLIONAIRES MINORITIES MISERS MISSIONARIES MISSIONS MISTAKEN IDENTITY MOLLYCODDLES MONEY MORAL EDUCATION MOSQUITOES MOTHERS MOTHERS-IN-LAW MOTORCYCLES MOUNTAINS MOVING PICTURES MUCK-RAKING MULES