Tobogganing on Parnassus

Tobogganing on Parnassus


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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tobogganing On Parnassus, by Franklin P. AdamsCopyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the copyright laws for your country before downloadingor redistributing this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do notchange or edit the header without written permission.Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of thisfile. Included is important information about your specific rights and restrictions in how the file may be used. You can alsofind out about how to make a donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts****eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971*******These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!*****Title: Tobogganing On ParnassusAuthor: Franklin P. AdamsRelease Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6122] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first postedon November 14, 2002]Edition: 10Language: English*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, TOBOGGANING ON PARNASSUS ***Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed ProofreadingTeam.TOBOGGANING ON PARNASSUSBy FRANKLIN P. ADAMSTOBERT LESTON TAYLORGUIDE, PHILOSOPHER, BUT FRIEND _If that these vagrant verses make One heart more ...



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Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** **eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** *****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!*****
Title: Tobogganing On Parnassus Author: Franklin P. Adams Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6122] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on November 14, 2002] Edition: 10 Language: English
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Sometimes Shakespeare hit the slide,  Not to mention Pope or Milton; Some of Southey's stuff is snide.  Some of Spenser's simply Stilton.
All of Browning isn't great;  There are slipshod lines in Shelley; Every one knows Homer's fate;  Some of Keats is vermicelli.
Wordsworth wrote some tawdry stuff;  Much of Moore I have forgotten; Parts of Tennyson are guff;  Bits of Byron, too, are rotten.
Us Poets
Rubber-Stamp Humour
When one has to boil the pot,  One can't always watch the kittle. You may credit it or not—  Now and thenIslump a little!
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If there were no such thing as booze;  If wifey's mother never came  To visit; if a foot-ball game  Were mild and harmless sport; If all the Presidential news  Were colourless; if there were men  At every mountain, sea-side, glen,  River and lake resort—
If office boys were not all cranks  On base-ball; if the selling price  Of meat and coal and eggs and ice  Would stop its mad increase; If women started saying "Thanks"  When men gave up their seats in cars;  If there were none but good cigars,  And better yet police—
"Carpe Diem," or Cop the Day
Nix on the Persian pretence!  Myrtle for Quintus H. Flaccus! Wreaths of the linden tree, hence! Nix on the Persian pretence! Waiter, here's seventy cents—  Come, let me celebrate Bacchus! Nix on the Persian pretence!  Myrtle for Quintus H. Flaccus.
"Persicos odi, puer, apparatus.
Horace: Book I, Ode 32.
The Simple Stuff
If automobiles always ran  As advertised in catalogues;  If tramps were not afraid of dogs;  If servants never left; If comic songs would always scan;  If Alfred Austin were sublime;  If poetry would always rhyme;  If authors all were deft—
If every girl were fair of face;  If women did not fear to get  Their suits for so-called bathing wet—  If all these things were true, This earth would be a pleasant place.  But where would people get their laughs?  And whence would spring the paragraphs?  And what would jokers do?